I shall cease to update this blog as I feel that the new school year should be started on a clean slate, and also because the tagboard has been contaminated by certain individuals who lack respect, understanding and conscience.
Those who know my new blog address will know it, those who don't can ask me or my good friends for it.  ¶ 6:23:00 午後

  I'm afraid that I'll get so attached to MJC that I won't be able to bring myself to leave, even if I got the chance to.
The people are nice...I love the school compound...we still get some sea breeze :). Tomorrow we're going on an "Amazing Race" in the Bedok to Pasir Ris area. cool? It's gonna be really fun!

We do have a badge after all...think we're the first batch to get it since none of the J2s are wearing it. It's entirely silver and of a 'flowing' lion's head.
And the ppl I've come to know, friends I've made...Tracy (who looks so much like Patrisia Anthony frm pr sch!), Joyce, Cindy, Ai Fang, Hilda, Bai (aka "Bye"--her real name's really long!) etc etc, plus all the old friends I've been reunited with. Then there are the J2 OGLs: Clara, that guy counsellor whom I can't remember the name of who looks a lot like a shuai-er version of Jonathan Jun, and of course Jeffrey (who's the friendliest of them all!)...and then there's Jeffrey's friend, both of whom kept me company for a while while I was waiting for Nicholas yesterday...Jeffrey's friend, seeing my uniform, asked me if I knew Adeline Yeo and Guo Yuan...(his sister is/was in St Nicks)...of all people...but he was quite nice.

My group was short of guys so during the partner mass dance, Joyce and I ended up dancing with our male OGLs!Fun but also embarrassing cuz we were so blur about the steps and our partners had to teach and reteach us...but not everyone gets to partner their OGLs :). The girls and guys in my group are so...shy-shy...when it comes to having to pair up to dance, everyone shies away. But I'd say though shy when it comes to dancing, R3 are all nice ppl!

Councillors can be sadistic (and sick!)!!! During the "Get to know your college" race, a councillor made a guy (from another group)do push ups over another guy lying on the floor...it looked really suggestive man...There was this guy on top of another and pumping up and down...lol. The same grp of councillors didn't dothat to my group but made 2 guys 'pole dance' with a male councillor as a pole!! And then she said, "I want to know what colour XX(name of councillor)'s underwear is today!" ...while the girls turned away the guys including OGLs subdues the said councillor and(I can only guess) pulled down his pants...well, at least he was wearing "navy boxer shorts" as the guys proudly proclaimed...
Why would we do all that crazy stuff? to earn points for our orientation houses!! And so we have to pander to all the SCs' wiles...

I wish orientation wouldn't end...but somehow I can't wait for lessons to start as either...

By the way, Tag-board is experiencing some problems now and won't load, so please post any comments using the comments link after each post. Cheers.  ¶ 7:22:00 午後

 

You Are the Reformer

1 You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong. High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them. You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect. You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

Guess what was the first thing we new J1s at meridian sat through?

University talks. By representatives from NUS, NTU and SMU.
We'll have to choose our subject combis by 11pm tonight.
No pirizes for guessing what I'll take! Econs, English, History, with Maths and CL as AO. Yes, I'm actually choosing to take CL. I don't want to lose touch with Chinese, but I don't want to delve that deep into the subject as well.
As for how ppl will treat me in JC...don't make assumptions. I've been reunited with my kindergarten best friend and quite a number of my primary school friends!!
MJC's school song rocks.
It's a pity we have no badge though...not even the J2s wear one...Meridian has no school crest yet...It'd have been nice to have a college collar pin to wear but we won't even have that...
The OGLs were quite friendly :)
One of them asked, "Will you be staying?"
A few shook their heads, I was one of them. Told them," Frankly, if I can go to the top 5, I will."
But actually there are only 2 top 5 JCs I'll consider, because of convenience/the fact that I like them.
RJ and TJ.
(The green JCs? lol)
If I don't qualify for top 5, I'll stay in Meridian.
I really feel that the teachers are dedicated, having met them...they have a genuine love for their subject.

Those on my tagboard: Wait till you experience what it's like working as a chashier/packer in a long, long queue where customers are starting to get impatient but the scanner and computer just can't work any faster...it boils down to YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND because you've never experienced it firsthand and that's why YOU CAN"T EMPATHIZE.

I'd like to end this blog in memorium of the tsunami victims.
Life is unpredictable isn't it?
While I'm reunited with old, long lost friends in tjis JC, how many will never see their loved ones again?
When you think of it, we in Singapore are really lucky. We were so near the epicentre of the earthquake but were yet spared from disaster...  ¶ 6:05:00 午後

  How many people choose to go into the Arts stream on purpose?
I'm one of very few, I think. Everyone I know chose Science. Why? Maybe some of them have a real passion/interest in the Science subjects. But I just have this strong feeling that a lot of people choose the Science stream because:

1.It's harder to get into in almost all JCs. What an honour to actually be able to get a place in the sought after Science stream!

2. Science subjects are easier to study for and score in. Arts subjects are pretty content intensive and how well you do can be subjective to how much the marker agrees with your essay, and thus Arts are harder to score in.

3. Dunno wat to study, so since can do Science so do, lor...

4. *Looks down on those who do Arts*

5. The emphasis on Life Sciences. This means more jobs available in the Science sector.


I just think it's sad if you choose to do a subject just because of the status it accords you, and not out of real interest and passion in it. I think the reality is that most people want to do well for A levels, and doing Arts can't guarantee them that A grade as much as doing Sciences can. In the end, some of those who end up doing Arts take Arts just so that they can cling on to the JC they want to go to. That's not right either...won't you be just as miserable?

I know what I'm getting into. I'll be taking a very heavy subject combi: Econs, E Lit, History. "Why? Each subject has 3 papers, each of which are 3 hours long. 3 x 3 x 3=27. That's not counting the AO subjects". But I'm very sure these subjects are what I want to do. Arts is my talent, my interest, my passion. I can't see myself taking Science...I'm interested, yes, but not enough to want to study it so much in depth.

Kenneth asked me why I chose Arts, and that was the reply I gave him. I don't think I'm doing anything stupid. It fits well with the career i want for myself in the future anyway. Employers in the industries which place emphasis in the Arts subject will not look at all your education data and say, "Oh, she went to the prestigious Science stream! Let's choose her over that Arts student" They'll want relevancy to the job. To be a journalist, Literature will strengthen my language powers, History will give me the background knowledge of many events happening in the world, and Economics will teach me how these events will affect people, markets and countries.


Tomorrow will be my last day at Seiyu...I'll miss everyone: Auntie Florence and Jack, who taught me so much and were so patient, Auntie Doris Wong who's been so friendly, guideing me along from her cashier counter (It helped that she's a retail assistant posted to the Cashier department, who was originally frm TOYS)...the Sheng Tai promoter Annie who's given me lots of sound advice; and of course the new friends I've made there: part timers Reina, Sharmaine, Fadh...the promoters Mindy from Akira, Sham from Hasbro, Ben from Shengtai... the executives Hui Teng and Saffia who were always ready to help this newbie...when I could find them...and the manager who doesn't have to do an SA's job but still sometimes does to help out, Mr Yeo. I'll miss everyone.

I feel like writing a letter to the Straits Times forum, telling everyone to respect their sales assistants...to say thank you and please continue to be friendly and understanding to us....I'm still planning what to write, but I hope I can help ppl understand what working in the service sector is like...even though in my short stint, I haven't been through as much as my seniors in the department have...in reality I've had to handle much less than the senior staff have.



Come Monday, I'll be reporting to Meridian JC. I'll know at most 3(?) people there, none from St Nicks...maybe a few other St Nicks ppl will be there, but being so far away, on the other side of Singapore, from St Nicks, there won't be many. But I have Kenneth and Nicholas and...Junrong? Dunno. Nicholas and I are going to sch together, on the first day.

I hope I help MJC take over VJC's position as Number 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  ¶ 6:36:00 午後

  Settling nicely into the job. After a while it isn't so bad after all, even though my feet still hurt (a little).
99% of customers are really nice and understanding, saying thank you, returning our greetings, smiling back at us. :D I have met (or heard of) the occasional fussy/unreasonable/snobby customer but it's really rare.But the caucasian/western-educated-with-American/British/Australian twang customers tend to be friendlier. It's the culture in those countries, and I guess it rubs off on those who study there. Singaporean/Asian customers aren't rude, it's just that most of them don't take that extra step to smile or be friendly to the salesperson/cashier.

There was this lady who kept apologising for all the trouble she was causing while I helped her fix up this remote control car (fastened down by just about a ton of screws) and test it out. Kept telling her, "It's ok, it's no trouble, really" but she still kept apologising. Makes me feel guilty for making her feel guilty lol, but if I were her I'd have felt bad too. But hey, it's our job--part of it.

It really brightens your day when customers smile and say "Thank you" in reply to your "Have a nice day!", or after you help them find something. And from the look in their eyes you know they really mean it. When I help the cashier pack the goods into plastic/paper bags when there is a long queue, most customers will smile, or say thank you, or nod in acknowledgement when I hand them their bags.

I think it's reciprocal, you know...when you smile at someone, he or she will feel more welcome to be nice/polite to you, just to return that smile. But on the contrary, when you greet someone with this black face that says you'd rather not be here serving him/her, of course he or she will be less inclined to be friendly because you don't appear to be friendly in the first place.
I think I do understand salespeople better...why there are some times they really can't help, etc etc.
For instance, when there's a long queue(defined as 5 people or more) at the cashier, at least 1 sales assistant has to help her pack. We have to be fast so as not to hold up the queue, and so there isn't much time to fold all clothes nicely before putting them into the bag. We just make sure they won't get crumpled. Some customers buy a tremendous amount of clothes, especially since this is the Xmas season, and there was one such lady with her daughter. A couple of clothes this pair was checking out needed a memo from the brand counter it came from (so that the cashier could check them out), and as there was no one else around and the cashier can't just go out and leave the queue standing there, I ran to the counter to get the memos. By the time I found the brands' promoters and ran back with the memos, the mother-daughter pair had been waiting for some time. Packing while the cashier keyed in the SKUs, I didn't extactly have the time to fold everything nicely so I just roughly folded the items and put them into the bag. The lady, watching with her daughter by her side, asked the cashier in Chinese, with this sarcastic tone; "Don't you people have the habit of folding clothes nicely before putting them in?" My cashier tried to explain to them that while we tried to do it as much as we could we couldn't when there was a long queue as we needed to be fast, and what more i was new and they didn't give us training....the lady left with a disgruntled look on her face. I wonder what her daughter was learning from her. Hah, maybe her daughter would understand what it was like if she became a sales asst/packer/cashier in the future, even for just a holiday job.

I wanted so much to argue my case and explain myself to that lady, but decorum and company policy forced me to keep my mouth shut and acknowledge her sarcasm.

Thankfully, I don't meet many customers like her.

Some people are postively mental. Like these so-called 'fans' on my tag board. Appreciate the effort...you must really have a lot of time on your hands (AND an identity crisis) to actually create a 'fan site' like that and tag my blog with someone elses' identity. And if you really believe that a doll can come alive and go online to tag...that says a lot.   ¶ 2:04:00 午後

  The end of my 1st day at Seiyu.
The TOYS Department!!!!
Ok...was supposed to go to Menswear at first but swapped with the Malay guy who oso started work today.
Should have stuck with Menswear. heard it was quite slack there! Guess men don't do much shopping. My dad doesn't even buy his own clothes! LOL.
My feet still hurt after standing for almost the whole day...no breaks in btwn except for lunch...I think I'll emerge from this job having A LOT more respect for sales personnel. When you're walking around straightening stuff, replenishing stock, etc etc, a cashier's job seems so much easier (and they get more pay per hour!). At least they get to sit! But of course it probably isn't as easy as it seems...

Was really, really blur. Wish I could wear a sign that said, "I'm NEW. I don't know anything yet!" But to customers, there's no such thing; they expect any staff present to be able to help them. So there I was, having to keep asking the full-time staff in the department (especially Auntie Florence) whether the store carried this toy, etc etc. Luckily, they were amazingly patient...I wish i had more product knowledge, but the promoters are there, especially those in charge of all the racer cars etc etc...But for today, I was a complete blur sotong, unsure about where everything was...
But gwen, apparently, had a worse time than I did in the Shoe department. Not only did she have to keep going into the store room to get different shoe sizes and models, her supervisor/manager happened to be this very loud mouthed, egoistic lady...................................................................
No wonder she wants to quite after this week. Sigh.

There's a shop in Parco that wants sales assistants. Think I'm asking them how much the pay is and what the hours are. If both are much better than Seiyu's I think I might switch jobs. Feel better selling clothes/makeup than toys, and small shops seem friendlier. Though if I did, I'd feel guilty about quitting b4 my time was up...

But when I get my pay, I can get all the Arashi CDs and DVDs I want! Yeah! and that will be...around $200? Slightly more.   ¶ 10:00:00 午後

  The end of my 1st day at Seiyu.
The TOYS Department!!!!
Ok...was supposed to go to Menswear at first but swapped with the Malay guy who oso started work today.
Should have stuck with Menswear. heard it was quite slack there! Guess men don't do much shopping. My dad doesn't even buy his own clothes! LOL.
My feet still hurt after standing for almost the whole day...no breaks in btwn except for lunch...I think I'll emerge from this job having A LOT more respect for sales personnel. When you're walking around straightening stuff, replenishing stock, etc etc, a cashier's job seems so much easier (and they get more pay per hour!). At least they get to sit! But of course it probably isn't as easy as it seems...

Was really, really blur. Wish I could wear a sign that said, "I'm NEW. I don't know anything yet!" But to customers, there's no such thing; they expect any staff present to be able to help them. So there I was, having to keep asking the full-time staff in the department (especially Auntie Florence) whether the store carried this toy, etc etc. Luckily, they were amazingly patient...I wish i had more product knowledge, but the promoters are there, especially those in charge of all the racer cars etc etc...But for today, I was a complete blur sotong, unsure about where everything was...
But gwen, apparently, had a worse time than I did in the Shoe department. Not only did she have to keep going into the store room to get different shoe sizes and models, her supervisor/manager happened to be this very loud mouthed, egoistic lady...................................................................
No wonder she wants to quite after this week. Sigh.

There's a shop in Parco that wants sales assistants. Think I'm asking them how much the pay is and what the hours are. If both are much better than Seiyu's I think I might switch jobs. Feel better selling clothes/makeup than toys, and small shops seem friendlier. Though if I did, I'd feel guilty about quitting b4 my time was up...

But when I get my pay, I can get all the Arashi CDs and DVDs I want! Yeah! and that will be...around $200? Slightly more.   ¶ 10:00:00 午後

  3 days to JLPT
Maybe I should have signed up for level 2 after all?

Going for an interview with Gwen tmr...Tangs has no vacancies so it's Seiyu as a sales/retail assistant,or at some other company in Suntec in telemarketing/promotions.

Wanna get the book TOKIO by Higashino Keigo.But It'd cost over $40 *weeps*, so I'll have to wait till Kino offers their 20% discount again. But it's a hardcover!
Still in the middle opf reading "Ao no Honoo".
I'm going crazy. I like reading fiction in Japanese more than in English lol.

I feel that young Singaporeans in general are losing their Asian identity...getting too Westernised...especially Singaporean Chinese. They cling on, albeit reluctantly, to their Asian identity only with one thread: That of the Chinese language. But so many of them can't wait to let go of that thread, to be free to roam in the 'Western' world.
But what is Singapore's identity anyway? It's ambiguous. We don't really have any cultural identity of our own, our history is too short. We're a country with immigrant ancestry, and we haven't had enough time to forge a true blue 'Singaporean' identity. The closest we have is the Peranakan culture, but how many of us are Peranakan?
It's going to have to be us, the current Singaporeans, who play a part in shaping our country's culture and identity--our OWN identity, not some copied one from America/Britain/China/Malaysia/India/the Middle East. It'll take time, and many many generations. But if everyone were to 'quit' the country and move to another, citing 'lack of own culture' as a reason, what people will there be left to build the Singapore identity? If you want something, you work for it. That's what I believe.
It's one thing to have a bit of influence of another culture in your own. It's another to copy completely and pretend to be what you're not, which is what I feel many people are doing. Yes, that goes to the Jpop fans who pretend to be Japanese too, to the extent of taking Japanese names and using in in place of their own.
~~~~~why must Singapore's representative in World Idol definitely have to be WESTERNISED? That's colonial mentality again. I hate that. We're an asian country. We're in Asia. If you tried to uproot the entire land mass of Singapore and its surrounding islands and move it to, say, America, I doubt you'd succeed.






Reasons someone would say 'Hi' to a friend:
1. Hey, it's a friend! :)

Reasons someone would say hi to someone who's NOT a friend:
1. To laugh at her at the same time
2. To intimidate her.
3. To show off: "Hah, see, I'm so (insert positive adjective here) and look at you u're so far from that today).
4. Cuz the other person said hi and u're just returning the greeting.

C'mon, let's just face it, a greeting is just what you say when u acknoledge someone's presence. Whatever effect it has on the other party...is open to interpretation.

Good riddance. Maybe I should start wearing my buddhist amulet to ward off evil.
*Did I hear someone say "And same to you too"?*
  ¶ 9:43:00 午後

  I know I'm being mean about the hooker thing...but u know me. I'm frank, just saying it as it is....just hope whoever she is doesn't know....and improves

And so, i ended up being the rose among the thorns today. Jingfang and Gladys couldn't make it, so it was just me and the guys--December, Edwin, Chen Yi, and for a while, Baey and Sherav. Turned out to be fun!!It wasn't as awkward as I thoiught it'd be going out with a bunch of guys :D Somehow it just felt more fun than going out with girls (I know that by saying this I'm risking the wrath of my female friends). With guys, I can banter and joke around and not have to really worry about hurting their feelings or accidentally offending them--girls tend to be more sensitive and take things to heart more often. But the downside: Can't look at makeup or clothes cuz I'd be worrying about the guys feeling awkward when I drag them through cosmetics shops etc. So we hung out mostly at non gender-biased shops...like Yamaha at PS where Edwin could hardly tear himself away from the clavinova (we sort of played a duet there :D), and E-zone (walked one round then walked out), and even went into Spotlight (cuz december wanted to find some material to make a suit). More abt that later.

Chen Yi, December, edwin and I first met at Somerset MRT...hung around Cineleisure, then back to the mrt station, then finally to Kinokuniya while waiting for Sherav and Baey to join us (no thx to a communication mixup!) After which we headed on to the Coffee Club...where things were so pricey (hey, we're students on meagre allowances!)that I sipped (just) the house iced coffee and the other 4 guys, cold water as we watched december eat his cheesecake(that took so long to arrive we thought the waiter forgot his order) and drink his coffee. D and I thought a certain teenaged waiter looked kinda familiar, like someone who had been on TV. The grp of us ended up chatting about the long bygone practical papers--though Baey was like, "It's over! Let's notr talk about it anymore", his next sentence was, (yappari), about the 'O' level practical papers lolx.

Headed to the basement after that--Sherav and Baey left to meet their friends while the rest of us trudged arnd for a while b4 deciding to go back to cineleisure where we headed straight into Yoshinoya and all 3 guys wolfed down set meals--december even got a 2nd bowl of miso soup! Me? Full from the iced water and coffee, i settled for gyoza (lolx. small stomach.) Talked about going to Japan...then after that, at a loss about what to do, we decided to go to Plaza Singapura and walked there--talking about being like tourists and taking photos of the (unlighted) xmas lighting.
The shops we hung out at: Yamaha (almost didn't leave! The keyboards, all kinds of them, were so tempting Edwin and i couldn't help but play a few tunes on them :D) Next was Harvey Norman where we obsessed over which digicam was the best. (I still love cybershot, but I think Lumix is the more economical choice when u think about the prices of their memory cards)...Then December went into spotlight--"What for? Want to learnt knitting ah?" I called after him, and the other 3 of us trailed after him into the shop...as I headed past the shelves, a loud chorus of "HI, EVON!!!" caused me to jump and look back...and guess who I should see but Ade yeo, Muthu and 9didn't see her but heard her laughter) Stephanie. Total shock. Of all places to see them...strange that almost every time I go out I'll run into at least 2 frm their gang...Managed to say hi to them...(heard laughter again...maybe I'm being oversuspicious but I couldn't help but think that they said hi not just for the sake of saying hi....) Why is it that when u least want to see someone u'd end up seeing her almost everywhere u go? I bet they feel the same too. でも、彼女たち、アイライナー多すぎじゃない？
but being with 3 guys...made me feel more protected somehow lolx. Though they certainly weren't exactly the type who would beat someone up at the slightest provocation (Did i hear someone say "Reynaldo?")
anyway, it was interesting looking at the myriad of fabrics Spotlight carries...There were tons of fabrics with flowery patterns, even more shimmery/sequinny/polyester-ish types of cloth, even furry ones with different animal prints! oh-hoh :D *held up a swath of bright coloured shimmery fabric* "Let's go to the disco!" Their denim cloths were quite thin though...Chen Yi told december, "Make your own suit for what?" My sentiments exactly...suits are hard to make. December's reply? " Just throw to my mother can already lahz" *shakes head*. Darling December (hey, juz for alliteration's sake!) , I think u'd be better off with a ready made suit cuz a tailored suit will only look nice if it's been made by a, well, pro tailor, and these suits tend to be expensive...

Chen Yi: "Aiya, wear jeans can already lah, need suit for what?
December: "My school cannot wear jeans!"
Me: "Of course cannot lah, ur school is a building how to wear?"
*all 4 of us burst out laughing*
December(still laughing):"I mean, My school prom cannot wear jeans."
Me: "Your school prom is an even of course cannot wear lah!"
*all bust out laughing again*
Edwin: "You mean, ur school doesn't allow u to wear jeans on ur prom nite."
We went downstairs after that, to mos burger (These guys JUST had to keep up with the tradition of eating something at every shopping centre we went to)Even after we'd left Mos Burger December suddenly said he wanted to drink miso soup AGAIN *hey, 3rd bowl already leh!) but he didn't get to...he settled for Taiwan mee sua from the basement :)

Our last stop in plaza sing were the purikura machines...being inexperienced at taking 'neoprints' (as most singaporeans know them as), we were, like, posing dumbly for all of the shots...3 guys and 1 girl XD. We didn't even know where the photos came up...awkwardly choose the frames for the photos and managed to doodle the date on them, albeit clumsily.
The photo stickers, miracle of miracles, turned out ok...but december and I resolved to try again the nxt time we went out, and do a better job with them!
Our hair looked BROWN in the photos although everyone had black hair. And thanks to the lighting, all of us looked really fair in the photos except decmber who looked tan
But I love the photos. Think I looked good in them...at least much better than the ones I took during the swim nats lolz

My comments about S'pore Idol: Taufik may sing better, but I think Sylvester has better stage presence and marketability. Mark my words, Sly will be more successful cuz he's perfect for the Chinese market which Singapore is so successful in. Taufik has only the English and Malay markets...which are not as strong in Singapore and also harder to break into. Stage presence and appeal...he loses to Sly. Just my gut feeling.

Have u noticed that for most of the world's Idol shows, especially American idol, the runner-up is always more successful than the winner?
It's Singapore IDOL, not just a singing contest. Singing well is not the main thing--appeal and marketability are. Singing can be polished up, but I'm afraid that appeal and stage presence can't really be. You either have it or you don't.
Taufik's win is a blessing in disguise for Sly. Cuz it almost certainly means that Sly will probably turn out to be more successful. With or without the prize contract, he'll make it big. It may sound harsh, but I don't think Taufik will be able to be VERY successful if he didn't win the recording contract. Sure, he may cut a couple of albums, get some airplay, etc etc...but he'll probably fizzle out.

  ¶ 9:40:00 午後

  And so it was yesterday.
Prom Night.
Contrary to my own expectations, I didn't cry...but it was all so surreal, dancing the family dance for the very last time, singing that school song for the very last time...yet I was too numb to cry.
Or maybe it's also because I know that I'll see my friends and classmates once again, when we collect our 'O' level results.
I'll miss our days as Loyalty. I'll miss my 4 years in this school. Because despite the fact that I had quite a few less than pleasant experiences, ultimately I gained friends...gained experience...gained knowledge. And on the whole, it was a fun-filled, exciting 4 years.
All has been said and done
Goodbye, St Nicks...
Where fate will lead me next, I don't know.

Everyone (well, almost everyone) looked really lovely yesterday. Some were nearly unrecognisable (in a good way). Seeing everyone, even the most tomboyish, in gowns/dresses/skirts...as I said just now, surreal. All these years I've never seen most of them in anything but their pinafores, and now...:)
But some ppl overdid their makeup. An article in Sunday Life! once said that girls our age tend to look like 1/a bride 2. a getai singer 3. a clown or 4. a combination of all 3 on their prom nites. There's another to add to the list: a hooker.
Someone(I shall not name who, see if u can guess) looked exactly that, among the few 'brides' and 'getai singers' I spotted who were thankfully, the exception and not the norm. Her dress didn't help matters, only served the strengthen the image that she somehow turned up at the wrong place on her way to Orchard towers/Geylang/some seedy bar to conduct 'business'/rushed to City hall from her 'business' at Geylang. Oh well...I'm not denying that I'm gloating. Hopefully her dress and makeup sense will improve in time for her JC prom, or the guys may just start prepositioning her.

My own makeup didn't turn out exactly as I'd planned (no thanks to bad skin) but it was ok. Quite a few ppl told me they liked my necklace...believe it or not it cost $4(or was it $5?) at J8! lolz...Maybelline's mum said I looked like a certain Chinese DJ (Wu Anya, if I didn't remember wrongly)..I was like, "Huh?" lolx. First my mum said I look like CNA's Suzanne Jung (the last time I did the same makeup to show her what I planned to do on prom nite), then...umz...lolz. I iwsh I had more height though. Everyone's already taller than me, then they were heels and I'm wearig 1/2inches....Some of my friends had to take off their heels whenever they took a photograph with me.
And yes, December, nobody gave me grief over my film camera. My school is not as hung up over such stuff as your school/circle of friends is. In fact quite a few ppl brought film cameras as well. Hey, a camera is a camera, and to judge someone over what type of camera she brings is really shallow.
Even professional photographers still use film cameras.

Cheryl sings really beautifully...the duet with Mr (Geraint) Wong was amazing! I'm inspired...maybe I should rejoin the choir in JC? If I can take 2 CCAs.
Maybelline and Gwen--go Karaoke with me one of these days!!!!!!!!!!Earplugs are welcome lolx.
Gwen...I think I want to take up that job at Tangs/ Takashimaya after all. Hey, pay is still pay :D But have to be prepared to bear with unreasonable customers.


  ¶ 1:47:00 午後

  Happy Birthday to Ohno-kun, Arashi's Leader!! Lolz...wonder what present Nino will give in in return for that suit with the price tag and "on sale 1900 yen" sticker attached that Ohno gave him on his birthday...*sweatdrops*

Stayed up till 3am last night reading this really touching book by Goh Sin Tub. "The Nan-mei-su girls of Emerald Hill". I wish I'd read that book when I was still writing my fanfic "All For Love"...

I love local writers. I think I read more local writers than foreign writers. Local writers are just as good! Catherine Lim, Suchen Christine Lim, Goh Sin Tub, etc etc. Many of their stories give a glance into what old Singapore was like....interesting anecdotes, etc etc. I guess i read too many books by foreign authors in primary school, so now I'm reading a LOT of local writers to make up for it. And reading their books gives me more of a sense of my own identity, as a Singaporean, and as a Singaporean-Chinese. I no longer want to be 'white' like I used to.

Hope I get into Meridian!!
Anyone wants to go with me to the Shiseido PN makeover? I think I'm going tomorrow. Meant to go today but then kenneth asked, "Want to meet up today? Go and see Meridian?" so I'm going MJC instead.

MJ's a good school. Even if I leave it after the 1st 3 months I'll still be proud of it WHEN (not IF) it becomes top 3!!!  ¶ 11:40:00 午前

  Watching the "real Life" programme on bullying on CNA today brought back memories of -u guessed it-- Sec 2.
I should have put it behind me long ago and I guess I more or less have, but thinking about it back then, I wonder if things could have turned out differently if a teacher had tried to intervene.
It was defnitely bullying, but I don't think we, at the age of 14, knew it. To them, they were just giving me my just deserts...i have to admit I sort of deserved what I got. But they were mean. And if only Ms Ng had intervened...
I still feel a little angry whenever I think of it. by 'intervened', i don't mean simply tell them "Stop it!"--that way would work for primary school students but not for 14 year olds. Perhaps some mediation would have been good...or she could have explained to me clearly why the class did not like me, and I would certainly have watched myself and tried to change before things got out of hand...but she knew all along and she didn't. Maybe she was just inexperienced? To me,she was biased towards them all along...
If I were weaker, frailer, perhaps I would have collapsed and committed suicide before I finished sec 2. But I'm proud to say I didn't. How I survived, I don't know. I don't think anyone would understand how I felt then unless they've ever gone through the same thing--the same torment.
It's made me a stronger person.
But I still get upset and angry when I think of how our very own form teacher, who could have stepped in, did not.
What if I'd killed myself?
How many children and teens commit suicide as a result of bullying each year? Perhaps they could have been saved if a teacher, a parent--any adult-- had stepped in.
At the end of sec 2 I'd written a long letter to Ms Ng telling her abt what was happening to me...was going to drop it into her locker but decoded against it. Why? Because I just realised that she probably would not understand...would just say it was all my fault...as usual.
Yes, it was partly my fault. But their torment,, teasing, bitching, name calling...was all too much.
No one would understand how it felt unless they'd experienced it firsthand.


Got my contact lenses today! :D
Then went to Bugis Junction, and straight to Missha, this shop that sells Korean cosmetics at reasonable prices. Got this 'pearl eyeliner' there...it's a glittery liquid eyeliner. Figured I'd need longer lasting makeup if I was going to be reporting at 2.30pm for a 6.30pm prom (:P Of course Geraint Wong wouldn't understand the concept of 'fading makeup', he is male after all. Unless...mwahahahaha). Think I will go back to the same shop the next time I need makeup.

I'm really going to Meridian JC. This JC really appeals to me! Of course RJC appeals much more, but for the 1st 3 mths, since i can't get into the top 5, Meridian's the nxt best choice. I wouldn't mind ACJC too but dun c the pt of going there if it doesn't have HEP.
Meridian may be new but it packs a punch!

Some reasons I chose to go there:

1. It's new! No fixed conceptions abt this school, at least, nt yet. New schools have new concepts and it'd be interesting to go there and experience it.

2. To be the 2nd batch and aactually be part of a cohort that contributes to outsiders' impressions and ideas of the school...to play a part in helping the school gain its very first achievement, and build it's reputation...current batches in established schools have their reputations built for them. Students in new schools build their own reputations.
Even if it's just for the 1st 3 months.

3. I have one cousin going there and possibly another! If only Edwin could go there...hahax all my male cousins my age will be going there and almost my whole family will be there. How fun! Wonder what sch my (only female cousin my age) Joyce will choose...later also Meridian then WAHAH!

4. distance from home: MJ is more convenient to get to from my home compared to NYJC

5. Location: The more different the route to RJC the better. I'll be heartbroken when i see RJC ppl lol. The route to Meridian takes me East, the route to RJ is North...and these 2 arrows pointing on opposite diirections (mrt west to city hall then change north) will never meet!

Of course, the down side is the lack of a nice range of CCAs to choose from...maybe I'll join choir. Like I did in pr sch. Or college publications.

Think i've blogged enuf. Jaa



  ¶ 8:54:00 午後

  I've finally changed the song on my blog after nearly a year! This song is dedicated to all my friends in St Nicks...all my friends and classmates. It's got a nostalgic tune...nostalgic lyrics. Just like Pika**nchi Double.
I've romanised and translated the lyrics too so those who are curious about what the lyrics really mean, it's down there below the japanese lyrics.Even if Jpop isn't really your thing, enjoy the melody.
嵐で、「途中下車」
My absolute favourite non-single song on Iza, Now


Someone may not be whom I thought they were for 4 years...of course I may be wrong, but if my gut sense doesn't lie...but it doesn't really matter. She was just an acquaintance all along. Not a really close friend or anything. But I'm still a little sad.
It's strange how much I feel sad when someone I've always thought I got along well with, or someone I can trust, turns out to have disliked me all along she was smiling and laughing with me. I know now that it's human nature, to some it's easier to be nice to a person than be mean, although you might really hate her. In the past, I guess i was a little too innocent, thinking that those who were nice to me despite disliking me were hypocritical. But now I've realised, lines aren't drawn that clearly. You just can't simply say that those who hate you and show it are better than those who realy dislike you but don't show you that. Maybe those who don't express their dislike for someone by being mean to her have more of a heart or conscience than those who do. Others may say these people are cowards. It's all a matter of opinion, but it's still human nature.

Can't wait for this Friday's tuition class gathering, and this sunday's party at Jianrong's house!!  ¶ 3:32:00 午後

 
F:

Your Beauty liesin Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even yourappearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may lookinnocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the sametime. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit ofeverything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with theguys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost adifferent person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you knowexactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. Youenjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable youare.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, LightTones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:Half-smile

Gemstone:Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Sign:Gemini Planet: Mars Hair Color: Red
Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by


Guess It's kind of true. I AM Gemini.
  ¶ 1:18:00 午後

  EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

i found my shoes for prom night yesterday!! Really in love with them...hahax now i don't have to wear zori to prom nite after all XD. It's not a pair of heels (pity...but mum won't sponsor heels...) but It's a little like ballet shoes except that it's more of a sandal than shoes...no not the flats that are so in fashion nowadays...i'll leave it all to ur imagination :D

Can wave gdbye to the Japan version ltd edition of 5x5...sighz...but and the DVD included. But by buying the normal version I'm supporting them too...I can listen to La Tormenta all I like, on my discman, but I can't watch a DVD with my discman all the time...

Wonder if CNA really has any vacancy...I'm inexperienced in such stuff, so I'm still wondering if my email to them enquiring about an internship was appropriate...these things count.

I wish i got paid to translate (bitter laughter)...I mean, I love translating stuff for people, and I'm more than happy translating Arashi songs and articles to share with other fans. But it'd be nice if it were a real job, lolx...but since that's impossible...if I can't get internship...will just give out flyers/do surveys etc etc to earn some $.
I doubt they want a translator who hasn't even gotten her 'O' level results yet and still needs to check up her dictionary every now and then when she translates anyway...

I just realized (again) that in Pika*nchi, released in 2002, Sho's character was called Chuu, a nickname for his real name Tadashi 忠. And the class I was put into the next year(Loyalty) , also has that character as its Chinese name (Tadashi means 'loyalty' anyway). What a coincidence lol... but my class isn't full of 'yankees' (as they call hooligans and gangsters in Japan) with regent hairstyles like Chuu. Lol.

If Vic really chooses to go to Meridian JC...then all my cousins on my dad's side who can go to JC nxt year will be going Meridian. Me, I'm wondering whether I should go ACJC, NYJC or Meridian. Each has its merits, but I won't stay in ACJC beyond the 1st 3 months...I think. Vanessa and WeiLing are in AC, which has HEP (if I'm not wrong)...nice to have seniors there...Maybelline's going NY which isn't a bad JC either...and if i go MJ I'll have Junrong, Kenneth and maybe Vic (?) MJ made it to top 10 in its 1st year, as Kenneth told me...and that's quite an achievement: 1st year! It'd be fun in a considerably new JC with friends and relatives around lol...but no HEP.
Speaking about Vic...I was really sad when I visited grandma at his home yesterday...We didn't say more than 'Hi" to each other....he hung out more with his siblings and i didn't really know what to talk to him about, knowing that certain topics may be sensitive...I'm glad he can go to JC. Guess he's really bloomed? But I miss the days when we were little and would play all day...though it took a little time to warm up to each other each visit, by the end of the day we'd have had so much fun I didn't want to leave. What happened to that? He's my cousin but it was almost like we were strangers yesterday...very awkward. With edwin there'd be the music and everything else, same with Kenneth...but what happened to the fun Vic and I used to have together? I wish we were as close as we used to be.

I realise that I haven't seen Elvin for nearly half a year...his job just keeps him so busy. Even when his parents come over to visit and chat, he's either overseas or stuck in the office, as it was during Yang biogge's wedding a few weeks ago. I sort of miss him. He's almost like an elder brother to me, giving me advice over what to do, what subjects to take, which school to choose, etc etc.
Wonder if that's what Sho's younger sister and brother feel? His job takes him away from home most of the time, either that or he reaches home really late.
Of course it'd be best if one didn't have to sacrifice family time for work. In The future, I'd love to have a job that allows ample family time. But how many of such jobs are there? When the time comes, i know I'll almost definitely have to choose between my ideal job which probably would take me away from my family a lot, and another job, not so ideal, that allowed for family.

I guess I'm still a conservative girl, not one of those power women who would sacrifice family for work and success.
It isn't, and won't be, easy to juggle both career and family at the same time. Will I be up to it?


  ¶ 2:46:00 午後

  I've had more than enough of prawns!!!
First, there was that raw prawn on the styrofoam square awaiting me during the Bio practical exam in the morning.
Then the whiff of prawns on the MRT on my way home.
Then my mum cooked prawns for dinner (how nice of her...but today just isn't the day. Sorry Mum.)
:p
I think i really made a lot of careless mistkes during the bio prac. (How could I have forgotten the air filter? and that enzymes are proteins? :P)
Gotta work much harder for the written paper if I want that A1.
But first, Higher Chinese, SS and Lit.
Especially SS, History and E Lit.
It'll be back to studying once i post this blog.

Finally got my KATE makeup today (Kanebo doesn't seem to have Trans Shine Eyes any more)...lipstick and pale pink and white eyeshadow/liner pencils.
Was about to get the liquid liner too, but decided that black mascara will be enough after all. Eye liner might make everything look too harsh in comparison to my white outfit. If I really need to line my eyes with something dark I'll use my eyeshadow/brown eyepencil instead.
Think I'll get my eyelash base from CanMake instead of Kate. If I decide I need it, that is.
If anyone says, "No amount of makeup will make you pretty", I'd reply, "That's true, because if i put on too much I'd look uglier anyway."
I just hope I don't end up accidentally putting too much foundation...it's all no thanks to lighting. In my mirror, everything may look ok, but when I go out into the sun...ugh.
Hopefully my complexion clears up by then so that I don't have to worry about foundation.
Experiment 1: This sunday, at Cousin Yang's wedding. (Strange, I've been calling him "Yang biaoge" from the very beginning. and even my parents call him "Ah Yang", so I don't even know his real name)If i wear a light colour outfit instead of the dark colour one I'm planning to wear. The look I have in mind for prom night just won't match well with a black outfit...will look washed out.

Ask somebody, "What can you think of that's related to the word, 'heart'?" I expect most people will think of love, etc etc. But for bio students studying for the 'O's like Maybelline and I in the Drama Studio just now...
"vena cava!" "capillaries!" "chordae tendineae!" "pulmonary artery!" "biscupid valves!" "aorta!" "blood plasma!" "thrombokinase!" "haemoglobin!" "Median septum!" "right atrium!"
How about flowers? Butterflies, bees, pretty...right? Guess again: "Calyx!" "nectar guides!" "androecium, stamen, anther, pollen grains" "Carpels" "stigma" "filament" "monoecious" "dioecious" "corolla" ovary" "receptacle"...
You get the idea.

Will stop here. Jaa



  ¶ 8:46:00 午後

  Having 2nd thoughts about getting the ltd ed of 5 x5.
Should i really be spending so much?
The main reason I want to get the ltd ed is the free dvd...the lucky man vid...besides that, having a dvd version also means I can free up my hard disk space by deleting those video files. DVDs last longer than mpeg files anyway.
But the normal ed is more affordable, and has a bonus track--La Tormenta.
I think there will probably be a Taiwan version of the ltd edition, in around 6 months or so. It's more worth it to get the Japanese version of the normal ed, and Taiwan version of the ltd ed...I don't think I'd be able to afford both.
I really don't know...you all know how much I hate Taiwan versions, and won't get it unless I absolutely have no choice.
Well...
...I don't want to have any regrets. But the more time I waste trying to make my mind up, the closer the ltd ed gets to being sold out on YesAsia (my only hope).
Forget about getting anything with a DVD at HMV. The Japan version of KinKi Kids' KISS 2 (original price 6000 yen) is selling for $144 there when 6000yen is less than S$100! How much the 6600yen ltd ed of 5x5 will cost, I don't dare to guess. :P $44 can get another 2 singles/3 issues of Myojo.

Went to the RJC and HCJC open houses yesterday. I know I won't be able to go for the 1st 3 months, but I really believe that if I just work harder, I can make it. No regrets.
Met December's friend Kai siong (finally) yesterday...December's trying to 'match' us but I'm not really interested in a relationship...not now. So give up already (lol). But it's rare to meet a guy my age who's such a gentleman. Shook my hand when December introduced us at HCJC yesterday (how often do you get that? From a 16 year old boy?), and said "i beg your pardon?" when he didn't catch what December was saying (most guys will go "Huh?" or at most, "Sorry?"). He sort of reminds me of my older cousin...the same well-behaved well-mannered type of guy who has no qualms making conversation out of anything ESPECIALLY current affairs and other cerebral matters, yet is not so serious about it to the point that it gets boring talking to him. And actually, that's my type of guy. I'd be turned off if a guy talked about nothing but superficial stuff, because it's make me think he wasn't mature enough to bother about what was going on in the world around him. But of course, if he were the type who just flaunts what he knows...a big show-off and braggart...:P
I'd say it's the first time I've actually met a guy not related to me who's that well read, knowledgeable, well-mannered type. But I think I'll meet a lot more if get get into a good JC.
No december. I'm not interested in KS that way. Takes more than 1 meeting to know a guy. I'm not interested in BGR right now anyway. LOL.
  ¶ 10:58:00 午後

  Over S$100! Was saving up for prom but now that the new Arashi 5 x5 The Best Selection of 2002-2004 (Limited Ed) is coming out...I guess I don't really need new makeup for prom...in any case I'm going to be really broke. But I think the limited ed is worth it...just have to do it by money order. Don't know how much that will cost but definitely less than a bank draft...my parents don't trust online stores with their credit cards so I'll have to find my own way.

If only I could just borrow from my mum for this once...but over a CD (and DVD) she'll deem 'overpriced'? Fat hope. I have a feeling it'd cost more at Mise. If HMV brings it in...but because it has a DVD, I wouldn't count on that. But I intend to drop by HMV tomorrow to check. If the limited editions of Iza Now! and Hitomi no Naka no Galaxy/Hero are there, it means they'll probably bring in the limited ed of 5x5 too, albeit much delayed.

$110...rough estimate...gone... If only there was such a thing as pay-by-installments at yesAsia lol.

Feeling guilty...still haven't collected the CD I asked Juliah to get for me...she said she'd get her sister to pass it to me but I don't have her sister's contacts either. I'm not bringing my cellphone tmr so...i don't know...maybe after the bio prac next week.

About the article about Arashi's 'blogs' in the New Paper: Actually, i kind of despise the Singaporean journalists who write about Jpop--most of them don't know their stuff at all and it's so irritating!! That article proves my point--does she think they even have the time to blog? And I think they (most of them anyway) would be more comfortable blogging in Japanese.

From misspelled names...to wrong info...to writing about a red herring as if it were real...oh man, those 'jpop reporters' are really ignorant. Even if they didn't really know much about an artiste or pop group, shouldn't they check their sources a little more thoroughly? To assume just like this...what a disgrace to journalists . If I ever became a reporter reporting on the Japanese entertainment scene I'd really make sure I get accurate info, not the tabloid stuff which you can't be sure are true or not.

Just typed a letter to the reporter who wrote the article. It probably is rather bold of me, but I sort of repeated a bit of what I just said in the above paragraph: Responsible journalists should not report any news without first checking and doublechecking on it for reliability and truthfulness. It's what I strongly believe--otherwise it'd be reporting rumours, and that's really unprofessional in my opinion.

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if everyone knew when to doubt and when to believe, but the fact remains that some people remain extremely gullible and believe everything they read, even when there's no evidence that what they read is true. You can't believe everything, especially whatever appears in those tabloids. That's why I get so irritated when some people at the Idol Thoughts rumours forum go on and on about reports in tabloids, as if they were true, no matter how far fetched it seems. If you've really seen him do it in real life, fine; if you know him personally and know that he does that, fine, we believe you. But photos alone do not tell all...it's almost like picture conversation: Give me a photo and I can cook up any story about how it came to be. But sources can lie, especially if you don't know who the person who first gives the 'news' is. 'Fans' can lie so that other fans will look up to them for actually having firsthand new 'news' about their idol. While the image that an idol projects may not be his true self, get real, a public image is a public image. And i think that a person can never hide his/her true self completely. On top of that, a public personality deserves some respect too. That's why i hardly ever go to IT, and when I do, my posts usually doubt the rumour.

I really admire the Japanese magazines I read...they never probe too deep into an artiste's private life to make their readers feel, "okay, enough is enough". When an idol says, "I'm sorry, it's private", they leave it at that. Yet, the questions they ask and so on reveal enough about the idol to allow fans to feel as if they know him. The mags don't make everything sound so perfect that you get the feeling, "This is too good to be true." The idols reveal some of their private lives, but not too much, so that they retain some privacy for themselves and the people around them. That's fine with me. Everyone needs some privacy. Even the most attention-seeking stars will have something they don't want the public to know. As long as it's nothing criminal or illegal, I'm fine with them keeping it to themselves.

If i ever get to interview stars and idols, I'd try to understand them...to know when too deep is too deep, yet to get them to reveal as much as I can, within limits. I think it'll take a lot of skill...I wonder if I'll manage? But if I respect the person I interview, they'd respect me too; the reverse is also true.

Last words: Tabloids are interesting to read, but don't believe everything they say.
  ¶ 10:08:00 午前

  It's 15 points now. But prelims aren't everything, there's still the 'O' levels. Actually, I'm sort of relieved that I didn't do well for the prelims, because if I had, I knowing myself, I'd leave everything as it is and not work as hard, and score even worse for the 'O' levels. of course it's a pity I can't go to the JC I want to for the 1st 3 months...I'd be a liar if i said I didn't cry at all...but what's done is done. Yes, I'm disappointed, but now that the crying is over and done with I have to move on. The only thing I can do now is study even harder for the 'O' levels, to get where i want to be. I just found out that 2 of my (much older) cousins didn't make it to RJC in the 1st 3 months too, but got in after that. Although that was long ago, it still proves that prelims are not the ultimate.

Just like the VJC girl who said she got 16 points for prelims but got into VJC after JAE? For JAE, there will always be those who get to stay, those who can't stay, and those who can stay but choose not to. We'll see if I really have affinity with RJC then.

It's not going to JC or LaSelle or whatever insituition that is the point. You basically insulted those who choose to go to JC before you made your choice--now that you've changed your mind you've become one of the very people you insulted the other time. What a pity.

On a lighter note, the CD I ordered online arrived yesterday!!! Now that I know the site is both trustworthy and efficient, and so I shall get all the CDs and DVDs I can't get in SG through them.
Strangely, Kenneth and I got the exact same L1R5...lol, close cousins... I don't know if we'll end up in the same JC 1st 3 mths though. I just realised I haven't seen him for over a year. Hope we'll really manage to find a day to study together soon.

Just a few more months...then...GOOD RIDDANCE. I daresay the feeling is mutual.
  ¶ 7:36:00 午後

  It's kind of obvious when you use electronic translators...somehow the sentence structure doesn't seem right. 意味わからない。日本語がわからなかったら英語を使ってください。
To someone (you know who you are.)If I can't even string a proper sentence together I'd be failing my languages. But sorry, I got As for both. I didn't fail my orals either. Sorry to disappoint you. :P
Are you so dumb that someone has to tell you they don't like you to the face for you to know it?

人は何故ないものを探し続けてるの？

知らないけど、これは考えはずの問題だ と思います(笑)。“途中下車”好きだ。(笑）あと、歌詞にこのリリックがある。メバリンの苦境とぴったりと思います。

名前も忘れるほど 遠くなってしまうなら
ネクタイを 外し 途中下車したまま
この街の思い出は何気ない一日が
守るべき何が そっと包んでゆく

翻訳してメバリンにＥメールするつもりがある。彼女この歌のメロディも好きそう。
社会学を勉強しています。シンガポールの政府をどうする人民にＯＯやＸＸなどをくれるようなものだ。（笑）どんな国でも学生の社会学教科書に必ず自国の政府はどうどうするなどをほめるじゃないか？当たり前だよ。たいていプロポガンだではないけどし過ぎはこうなる。

  ¶ 3:55:00 午後

  翔くんを思ってる。まえはあんまり思ってなかったのにメーバリンちゃんが"もし翔くんが突然に学校に現れたらどうする？”　って訊ねた後いつも思っています。どうするかあの時　“私の学校に何をしてる？”を訊ねとふざけて答えたけど…絶対あんな失礼になれないの（笑）。“こんにちは”って”嵐が大好き”　“翔くんの大ファンですよ”ってなどなど。でももしほんとうにみたら照れて赤面になって話されなくなるようになるかもしれない。そうだけど絶対あいさつを必死にする。んん。礼儀だ。

白バラと赤バラ。どっちを選びますか？
  ¶ 11:01:00 午前

  Some people just don't understand, and so tend to see things a different way. Well, can't help it.

Wondering when I'm going to receive that CD I ordered from CDJapan...? It's still "In shipping process". well, anywhere in 1 to 3 weeks time, from what the site says. Can't wait!

I guess there'll be bitches and cliques no matter where you go, whether it's JC or Poly or some other institute, or even out to work. Life's like that, can't escape. I guess the only time where there weren't any bitches was when we were little children, innocent to the ways of the world? To me, the important thhing is to not become one of those bitches. But it's going to be hard, seeing that in many cases you have to bitch to survive. Just like in Survivor. Oh well.
Wonder what today has in store...
  ¶ 9:23:00 午前

  Nervous. Really, really nervous! In around another 3 1/2 hours I'll have my English prelim results back...December, you really scared me when u told me about ur classmate who got a C6 though she'd been getting straight A1s all along...

For the first time in nearly 2 years yesterday, I liften up my piano cover and started to play again. Surprisingly, my fingers still remembered that melody, and I let them lead...It's amazing isn't it? Of all the songs I've learnt, it has to be that song--"Melodies Of Life". It really brought back lots of memories, because I remember that it was at around this time, 4 years ago, that I learnt it...4 years ago, when graduation threatened to tear friendships apart.

I learnt it for him, but i never did get to play it for him. Even as time passed and I no longer had any feelings for him, I'd grown to love that song, and the feel of my fingers pressing down on the keys in that familiar fingering. It was the very first song I'd learned completely on my own...and I was more than willing--even eager--to play it for an audience, anyone who would listen. Not just this song, but any other song. Loved to hear their applause, shouts of encouragement, awed looks...appreciation. And that was part of what kept me playing, too, other than the love of music.

I remember playing it for my MEP class in Sec 1...I still played in in Sec 2. Then, disaster struck and I thought I'd never play again...not in school, not in front of classmates, who would laugh at every single mistake I made in playing, even out of nervousness. It may seem too much, to stop playing because of something like that. But their laughter was a blow to me, discouraging me...when i got home that day, I sadly closed the lid of my piano, and never opened it again, except once in a while when my cousin came. My parents and other relatives asked me why I hardly played any more; I couldn't tell them the real reason, knowing they'd say, "You shouldn't let that keep you back." They wouldn't understand what a blow the laughter was...to my classmates then, laughing at every wrong note I played was a way to show me, I wasn't so good after all...a way to show their disdain. To me, it was a horrible blow of discouragement...would they ever understand that?

It was a year later that I tried to play the song again--helping Wenhan during the Head prefect/Head Monitor campaign, I was over at renhui's house with the rest of the team. There was a piano in the room.
Taking a break, I slipped over to the piano, wondring if it was okay...if anyone would mind...uncertain about what their reaction would be, uncertain if I'd be able to play the song again.

I played. Nobody commented, or seemed to pay attention. But I didn't care...this was much better than laughter at every wrong note. Still, my fingers couldn't remember every exact chord...maybe it was nervousness. Even after that, though, I still didn't lift the lid of the piano at home.

Until yesterday...clearing my room, putting the books that were resting on the lid of the piano back to their original places, I looked at my rosewood piano and suddenly felt the urge to play again. And play I did...my fingers somehow recalled the familiar melody again...every chord, every appregio, every crescendo and decrescendo. Was it my fingers that remembered, or this piano which had been my constant companion and confidante for more than 10 years? When I was much younger, I'd play when I was sad or angry, banging away at the keys in a stormy melody; playing gaily when I was happy or when there was cause for celebration. I'd play on National day, Christmas, new Year, my parents' birthdays, or to entertain guests when they were here. All those memories, too, came flooding back when I played again yesterday, and I wondered, "How could I have let that little incident in Sec 2 devalidate my love for playing the piano?" I guess i was oversensitive then?
And before i realised it, I was crying...crying while i played that familiar melody, over and over again as to make up for the times lost. Played the songs I used to know again as well...but I needed to refer to my scores again this time, having forgotten most of the left hand accompaniments. The memories still came flooding back...how could I have forgotten?

From now on, no heavy textbooks will rest on my piano lid ever again...nothing to impede me when I feel that urge to lift up the lid and play. I don't think I'll ever neglect my piano again...I'll keep playing.
  ¶ 9:20:00 午前

  I never flopped across the stage for as far as I knew about it--not on wednesday, thursday or yesterday. Unless by 'flopped' u mean some other action.

One sentence: The Pot Calling the Kettle Black. Cuz that's what I think a lot of people are doing.

It takes a lot of self-awareness to see all of one's own flaws, and I don't think I have that degree of self awareness yet...as such I can't say I know all my own flaws, but those that I know about, as long as I see that there's something really wrong with it, I'll try to correct it.
But people who want me to be somebody I completely am not..I'm sorry, I won't change myself just so that u'll like me better. Everyone has a certain kind of ppl they'd rather not hang out with, nor care less about what they think. If I don't like someone, why would I want to change myself so that I'd be the type of person they like, if the type they like what I completely dislike? Bottomline: I won't be someone I'm not, much less someone I dislike, cuz i don't want to end up hating myself.

Speaking about ppl I dislike...somehow I saw quite a few people I didn't want to see out at orchard road today. And I didn't even go to Heeren or Far East Plaza! Better not linger on that, just makes me feel unhappier. I just looked away and walked on.
  ¶ 7:51:00 午後

  Waiting for my cousin Serene to come over...

Why is it that so often, we see others' faults but are blind to our very own identical flaws?

If it weren't for them...
This class would be one of the greatest classes I've ever been in...
Can't stand her. Can't stand them. 2 more months and I'll never see them again.
How could anyone be so hypocritical?
It's ur business which route u choose. You don't have to insult those who choose the other route.
And...get this...one minute she's sneering at those who chose to go the other way, and the next, she's saying that she's considering going this way too.
Sighz...

Just had a revelation yesterday...well, not much lolx. Was looking at the article on Kazama Shunsuke in Duet and realised that he looked a lot like someone in the class...Didn't mean to insult Kazama k but the face...if he had a different hairstyle he'd be her doppelganger. ..but give me Kazama k anytime, somehow he looks more pleasing to the eye compared to her although they look so alike. 雰囲気だ。

Somehow i don't feel safe...
Realised how deep and dark some ppl are...some are deeper and darker than I ever thought they were...manipulating, hiding, playing on others' feelings...hiding behind those masks. Almost like shape shifters...telling others what they want to hear, changing their opinions quickly to suit the person they're with. These are the real people with no personalities of their own...their personality is defined by the person they happen to hang out with...almost a bit like viruses...coming alive only when they infect a host, manipulating the host to suit their needs...Scary. Like Hooper. people with true personalities of their own won't change their principles and general stands on certain things so easily, with no good reason. People with no real personalities...they're just empty underneath that changeable shell, which they change to suit the person they happen to be with. Weak...almost lifeless...can't survive without a host...

Just some ramblings.
  ¶ 4:10:00 午後

  Taking a short break from studying HCL...
I don't think I'll be watching A Kindred Spirit for the next month or 2, knowing what's probably going to happen...won't be able to stand the heartbreak. I know it's kind of silly to get so involved, it's just a drama after all, but this time I know what's going to happen and i just can't bear to watch.

1 1/3 more papers to go before the end of prelims...I'm nervous, knowing I probably messed up my e lit!! I'm afraid that I might not even be able to get into JC for the first 3 months nxt yr...

Can only pray, though I'm not a very religious person...

Saw a lovely evening dress at TPY yesterday...but it's black. I've got my outfit for prom nite alr anywayz, but was thinking if only we could wear black...
Will my hair grow out in time?
then there's still the O levels b4 that.
Gotta reread KOTC and Twelfth Night at least 5 times more each...
Unsure abt HCL...
Revise everything else a few more times
should be ok otherwise.

I'm dying to do translations for the iro forum! But not now, sorry, studies still have to come first. I've done the translations for Tochuu Gesha alr, but I'll start putting them up only after I've done 1/2 the album and both main tracks of the singles. I love Tochuu Gesha, it's my absolute favourite song on the album apart from the 3 single-released songs.

Speaking of songs, whenever I see the words窒息 in my Chinese book I read them in Japanese ( "Chissoku") first instead of Chinese...cuz I came across them last yr when I was translating '15th Moon"...so in the end it's see the words-->read them as 'chissoku'-->tune of '15th Moon' plays in my head--> suddenly realises "It's 'hi xi' in Chinese and you'd better concentrate!"
It's about the same for a few other words and phrases I come across while studying from the shou ce: See the words and the first pronunciation that pops into my head is the Japanese one, usually because i learnt the words in Japanese before learning them during Chinese lessons. Sometimes, this helps me to remember the words better especially for chinese tests. But I know I'm probably in dep trouble if I can remember words in japanese better than in Chinese which is supposed to be my 'first language' together with English... (nervous laugh)

まだ 両天．．．火曜日になると もう試験がない！．．．と言うだけど暫くだけですよ。一ヶ月の‘休み’．．．のわけではない実は試験勉強時間。でも翔くんが出来れば私もできる！
  ¶ 6:31:00 午後

  AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGH!!*cry of joy*
Feeling so lucky today! I seldom watch 'Showbiz' (Wan Quan Yu Le) but when i did today, they had this report on Arashi!! And Sho was just yelling out (twice) "Wo Ai Ni!!!" (ok, and Ohno mimicked him a few seconds later). The other members didn't seem to know what it meant so Sho was telling them. Hmmm. wonder if he learned it from a friend who knows Chinese? Or maybe he took Chinese in university like Koyama does...In any case I'm not surprised that Arashi and most other Jpop artistes know a few Chinese phrases. It's like us here knowing a few common phrases in other foreign languages although we may not be fluent in them.
"Wo ai ni"
Of all phrases...Sho...of all phrases...well, love ya too XD
And the 2 members who said that happen to me my top 2 faves! ESPECIALLY Sho
Feel like hugging him...will pretend my pillow is him instead LOL

I was doing an A Maths question that time and didn't really pay much attention to the TV, but when the announcer said "....Arashi...." I looked up at once and forgot about that A Maths question.
Was just thinking about writing a fan letter to Sho yesterday...kept meaning to write one but I keep putting it off...I don't want my letter to be like others...I want it to be somewhat different...Sho must have come across tons of letters that go on and on about how much they love Arashi's latest song etc etc and how much they love him. Well, of course I'll mention that I love their new album and single...but after that I want to make sure I have something unique to say that will really touch him

Should send in a questionaire. More likely to get handwritten reply...but he doesn't reply it's ok too

Went into Idol thoughts again yesterday... ver, very seldom go into it, if I do it's only to the rumours forum.
How can people really believe everything they read in those gossip mags and tabloids?
I don't assume that everything they say is not true, but such things, especially from such sources, you have to take with a huge pinch of salt( and bittergourd).
I really hate the fact that so many of the ppl in the rumours forum there assume, without question, that everything is true
Well, the interviews and such we read in mags and what the guys say at thier concerts on the media may be filtered and sanitized, but they don't lie, because Johnny's idols aren't allowed to lie in such interviews. I think they're more trustworthy than the sources of those rumours...and they don't filter that much out. Like...we know that Aiba goes drinking a lot...may have a drinking problem LOL. In one of their concert MCs Ohmiya SK did mention that the previous night whenever Aiba went to the toilet he'd find that the person he had been talking to before he went had disappeared because everyone was avoiding him, knowing that he had been drinking...well...does that count?
The mags don't filter everything either, especially for non-Johnny's artistes. Ishigaki Yuuma once mentioned in Popolo that he wanted to quit smoking. If it were a Johnny's artiste I doubt they'll even mention anything about the idol smoking.

People, take every rumour you read about an idol with a large pinch of salt. Don't believe everything you read. Pictures can be doctored, and they may not tell the full story. Don't assume

Hope I've done my bit for standing up for the idols.
  ¶ 6:34:00 午後

  Getting kind of nervous...prelims start next week...I'm okay about some subjects but I'm really really worried about lit, chem and hcl...my lit grades fluctuate and as for chem and hcl...dun even talk about it, they usually teeter over the age, who knows which side of the passing mark they fall into this time? (ok, so my Chinese grades are in a safer zone than my chem grades)

Downloading my school's past yr's papers n emailing them to December too (finally). I can't really on just 10 yr series, ESPECIALLY for Chem.

Can't wait to meet up with the iro girls again, probably some time this week...after that I'll throw myself fully into exams, exams, exams...
If Sho knew that whenever I feel like giving up, I juz have to look at his photo in my wallet and I'll be encouraged...lol.

I don't usually get so nervous and panicky about exams, but this is different, because how well I do in prelims determines whether I'll be able to be in RJC for the 1st 3 mths, and how well I do in the 'O's determines whether I'll get to stay there for the next 2 yrs. it's a scary thought...when an exam determines where you'll be in the future...

Then there's the JLPT which I've finally signed up for....Level3... I wouldn't have signed up if I weren't confident I'd pass it, and I still have 2 wks to prepare for it after my 'O's...but will RJ (if I do manage to get in) allow me into their JEP with just that even though I don't take 3rd lang? JEP or Humanities Scholarship? If I do manage to qualify for both which will I choose? Both are my passions...but we'll have to wait and see if I'll even get to make that choice *nervous laugh*

To change the subject...I was just thinking that if you really want to find out more about something someone else has been talking about to other people, you should ask the party directly concerned with it, not the friends she tells it to...if the person concerned didn't tell you when she told others, she probably has her reasons, certain matters are personal after all and shouldn't be made known to too many ppl. Sneaking around that way when it's none of your business just reflects badly on you...thank goodness she didn't tell u but told u to go ask the person yourself. Didn't mean to preach but that's what I strongly feel. It's a matter of principles.

...if i felt that someone wouldn't mind improving on her character I'd tell her frankly and clearly what was wrong with her, but time and again she makes excuses for those character flaws , saying that she meant to be that way,although this way she behaves puts a lot of ppl off...she doesn't seem to see the need to improve on them...it makes me think that since this person doesn't really care, there's no pint in telling her that yet again knowing that she'll argue that she meant to be that way and that she doesn't care if other ppl like her, yet again. I understand that not everyone strives to be that kind of person whom everyone likes, and I don't condone changing one's entire personality just so that ppl will like her more, but when certain parts of your character put a lot of ppl off, way too much...she's generally okay, but...there are a lot of things about her I can't stand, especiallyover a long period of time.

I like frineds who are happier, more optimistic, brighter...more normal...but she's still my friend after all...
  ¶ 11:44:00 午前

  What I'm wearing for grad nite...well, my closest friends already know :) I juz haven't gotten my shoes and accessories yet. Think I'll get a pair of heels, or maybe ballet pumps. Saving up for some makeup frm Kanebo too...Want to get Testimo's Transshine Eyes, but it's kinda expensive... T'estimo stuff are always so expensive (sighs)...The lipstick is cheaper but it's STILL expensive and besides, I think KATE has the same shade I was eyeing for about half the price.
*Doesn't this girl have enough makeup already?*
True but I never seem to have enuf colours and textures...lol...ok, maybe quite enough.
I wonder what everyone else will be wearing for prom nite too...I doubt anyone will have the same outfit I do uz firstly, mine is a 2 piece...that doesn't even come in a set...what are the chances of someone having exactly the same combination? lol
Prelims start on the 13th of next mth...just a little more than 2 wks...it's scary...
  ¶ 1:16:00 午後

  Listening to: Arashi/Hero

Can'tr stop the song playing in my head...can't wait tilll I get the CD! Juz lucky that Juliah and Summer r going to japan, otherwise I'd have to fork out $39.90 to get the ltd ed CD frm Mise...
*cries* Juliah and summer!!! Fit me into ur lugguage!!! I don't care if it'll be cramped!! I'd rather watch Arashi live in concert than have 4 mock tests this week!! lolx...someday, in a few yrs time, I'll get my chance! For now I'll work hard and save up...

Found a way to prevent myself frm wasting money on stuff i dun really need--change the cash to foreign currency like US$ or something...then I can't spend it in SG lol...at least the value of US$ keeps increasing. Some investment...

I'm afraid I'm kind of to blame for Gwen and my unstable friendship...Gwen's a very, very sensitive girl and I'm afraid she's taken certain stuff too personally...yet again...I don't know how to talk to her abt all that either...knowing her sensitivity...Gwen, you always seem to take things so hard...too hard, in my opinion. But sometimes...although I can't quote real evidence like I do in lit...there's something such as intuition...and little things add up...

I guess I've changed over this year...I notice that exaggerated actions and overmelodrama used to be my thing, but now I'm sick of it...It's not whom I want to be...In a way, maybe I really am finding back a part of what I used to be in those innocent primary school days when I was that quiet girl...ok, not so quiet, but less in-your-face than what I became...actually, I think it's because when you see u someone who acts the same way u do and u get turned off by it, u realise what a turn-off u've been to other ppl as well.

What is maturity and immaturity anyway? Some ppl may think they're mature, but actually te=hey aren't...in trying to act 'mature', they've shown their immaturity.
All the bitching that I see all around me is just so...immature...but yet ppl do it. Even I do it sometimes...I guess as I told Maybelline and the rest at lunch on Friday, it's women's nature to bitch about others.
It feels better to spill ur dislikes about someone to someone else, rather than to just keep in in your heart as a growing fester.


  ¶ 7:22:00 午後

  Yesterday was great fun!!!!!!!!!
Though I missed the fireworks...being with the SG Iro girls was worth more than that :D Wish more ppl turned up though...the more the merrier!!
(Um...not that my mum knew i was meeeting them...she knew i was in the airport but I told her I was meeting my primary school friends...yes, I know, Evon is a bad, bad girl lol)
Chatted until past 10pm...Juliah and Summer and Ayura are so lucky!!! *sighz* Urayamashii!! I wanna go watch the concert too...but I guess that will have to wait until I don't have any major exam on the cards and have saved up enough....
Heart hurts whenever i see ads for tours to japan, cuz mum doesn't like to go to places she's been before while me...I just can't get enough of Japan. Somehow, it's one countrythat I really, really miss...miss enough to regularly dream about walking down its streets XD.
But I guess I'll get my chance when the time is ripe?
Maybe someday everyone in Iro will get to meet there, at an Arashi concert...
I hope our Milestones project gets through to them! They'll be really touched :) Speaking of which I feel like writing another fan letter to Sho...XD maybe I should try writing to the other members as well. Nino? :)
Speaking about letters...sorry december, I owe you one!!! Can I pass a letter to u the next time I see u? It's kinda weird posting letters when we see each other every week. And while I'm writing letters lately i feel like writing a letter to Yijing as well...after she called me that few weeks ago...It was kinda strange to get a call from her cuz we weren't really close friends or anything when she was in SG...
Well...
Better get back to studying Chem, if I don't want my grades to teeter over into the wrong side of the passing mark...

  ¶ 6:54:00 午後

  Quite shocked to learn that the essay I sent in for the Commonwealth essay Competition actually got a Highly Commended!   Gwen gave me a scare when she said there was a prize for that...but I checked juz now and it's juz a cert [a bit disappointed...] But I really never expected it...yet maybe a Highly Commended isn't a big deal after all, so many people got the same...
  ¶ 7:10:00 午後